Tears are to the soul
what soap is to the hands
VULNERABILTY ALERT! This is gonna be an open post …..
In our St Aidan’s staff meeting this morning our Parish Nurse – Pat Frguson, shared the above quote from a recent continuing education event he attended. When he spoke those words, I felt surrounded by Grace. I was reminded of the words of my Grandmother Whayatt so very long ago when she told me as a teenager that ‘tears are the enemy of the devil.’ Powerful to be reminded of the words of Nan Whyatt given how they are words I need to hear as I struggle with grieveing the death of her daughter and my mother.
The rational part of my being says, ‘suck it up!’ I have been trying to tell myself since I returned from Newfoundland that it’s time to get back reality and that I should have all the energy necessary to do all that I believe is required of me. Mom was not well for a long time and her suffering is now over. That should console me, right? She has been slipping away from reality for years. That should mean all my grieving has been done, right? Mom loved to a decent age and wanted to be reunited with Dad, with her grandchildren and her parents. she had done enough. That should make me grateful, right?
Trouble is, my heart is not where my head is. My head knows this was all a necessary part of the journey. But my heart is broken. And like soap to the hands, I guess my soul needs to weep. I guess I need to heed the words of the woman who brought my dear mother into this word – my Nan. If I want the Spirit close to me, tears my be the best calling card to use, as the Dark One is frightened by such raw and honest, faith filled lament, grief and emotion. With Dad and Mom both gone home, a generation in our family has gone. I shall celebrate what we were given, and I will permit myself to wash my soul with tears for what we will miss.
Thank you Pat for reminded me that my sould might be cleansed by the tears that speak to loss that I feel.
Is your soul in need of a good cleanse? Do you need to hear these words today? Can you be drawn closer to God with tears that will free your soul from what ails it? Lent allows us to sometimes get very honest with ourselves. I’m working on it. What about you?