ALERT – I have it on good information that tonight will be a hard night for someone at St. Mark’s by the Lake.  There is a dinner at the church tonight and if my sources are right, someone will not go home from that dinner.  This is a matter of great concern. If word gets out that someone will die tonight (and I hear it will be at the hands of another), maybe people will not come.

This is the boldest of crimes in that the perpetrators of the heinous crime have been advertising it for several weeks. In fact today I checked our parish webpage atwww.stmarkschurch.net and there is an ad right on there – MURDER MYSTERY.  I have called the authorities and they have told me that nothing can be done until a crime has been committed unless I have some evidence that something will happen. Evidence? Whoever this MJM is they are practically boasting that they will cause a fatal fracas. Would the police like the exact time before they act? I did some very nominal investigation and read up on these dastardly dudes on a webpage called MJM Entrainment.  These sickos actually call this type of murderous maligning entertainment. Can you believe it?  

I am worried, very worried! Who will it be? It is fair to say that there are many targets in this place. I mean there must be at least a dozen old girlfriends of the Silver Fox a.k.a. – John Anderson that might have an idea or two. And what about Bob Cooper? With the lifestyle that he has lead who knows how many people would like to have at him? I am worried! I once heard the Geoff Dibbs was a magician and that he made a woman disappear during a show and could not bring her back. Her husband was not impressed.  Could Geoff be a target? And what about Brooke White? How many students at the University of Windsor has she upset over the years? And the rumours about Ray Hinton’s past as a man if international intrigue are almost unbelievable. I am worried! I care so much for all of these characters…oops, I mean people that I cannot even fathom the thought of what might happen. I want these MJM people arrested before something terrible happens.

Oscar Wilde said that “Murder is always a mistake – one should never do anything one cannot talk about after dinner” I implore whoever has these homicidal ruminations to please heed that advice. If you do anything like what I am hearing will happen you will spoil our after dinner conversations.